SEVEN SUPER THINGS ABOUT BEING A PARENT

..courtesy of Jinga Mom.

Oh they wreck your head, and your home, and you haven’t had uninterrupted sleep since you sat down to watch that Eastenders omnibus back in 2013 but sure you wouldn’t be without them. Would you? Well... maybe just for a little while.

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We all have days where you’d happily put the kids up for sale on Ebay or trade them for a ticket to Tahiti but apparently that’s illegal, so here are seven super things about being a parent, should you need reminding...

Funsize Hugs: Unlike their chocolate counterparts (because one minuscule Mars bar is more than enough, said no woman ever) who knew something so tiny could be so perfect? Little chubby arms squeezed around your neck just might be the most sublime feeling in the world.

Everyday is an adventure. A bus! A tractor! A plane! A flower! Doggy poo! Experiencing the world through a child’s eyes reminds you how exciting this big old planet of ours actually is, so slow down and smell the roses, just not too near the doggy dirt...

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Everyday is an education: One day my kid pointed out two snails having a ‘fight’, they weren’t but now I know how snails procreate!

You are officially a better version of yourself - bear with me on this one. Ok, so you may look a bit wrecked on the outside but on the inside...the inside people...where it counts... you are a much nicer person. You have a new found empathy for everyone because becoming a parent has expanded your heart (and your humility) in ways you never imagined possible and you’ll never judge a fellow mum’s trashed house ever again.  

Right Now Your Kid Thinks You’re God (Part 1): When your child asks you a question, you now know thoughtful, mulled over explanations send you down a spiral of ‘Why? Why? But why?’’. Quick, direct responses, true or false, will have your child thinking you’re Einstein. Enjoy it, this is the only time in your life when you have all the answers.

Right Now Your Kid Thinks You’re God (Part 2): A kiss, a hug, or a little rub can stop the flow of tears, ease throbbing pain and cure a variety of ailments. This must be how Florence Nightingale felt... until you see a big bruise the next day and the guilt kicks in because they actually hurt themselves that one time... oh well...

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We all look at our partners at one time or another and say: What exactly did we do with our time before? Answers include: “Drink hot coffee” and “Read books!” said in a way comparative to navel gazing. As a parent you now possess an amazing superpower which allows you to karate chop your way through the faff like a ninja and get s**t done. Any hacks you can implement to organise and priortise, you are all over.

Speaking of which, have you signed up for your Jinga account yet? If you did, you can look forward to such benefits as: no longer ransacking the house ten minutes before your G.P. appointment because you can’t find that “bloody-blue-booklet-with-the-baby’s-vaccinations-written-into-it”. If you haven’t signed up for Jinga yet... don’t do it to yourself girl, just ask the nurse for another book.

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